Have you ever heard the Nicole Nordeman song ‘Legacy‘? I will not leave a genetic mark on this earth after I pass. But what will I leave?

In the last 5 months I have attended two memorial services. Both of these women left behind husbands and an elementary school-aged child. One left this life very suddenly. The other had several months to prepare– she wrote a blog for her friends, a journal for her daughter, and a series of letters for her husband. I bawled for weeks. Not just for the loss of these great women, but also for all the past, present, and future that their children have lost.

Professor X lost his mother when he was six years old. He remembers almost nothing about her. Not the ways that she hugged him. The classes she took him to. The meals she cooked. The sound of her voice. The Flash is six years old. Marvel Girl is not even four. What legacy would I leave them?

And so, I have decided to periodically share more personal stories. If I were to leave this earth earlier than I had anticipated, would my children remember that I loved Coffee-Coffee-Buzz-Buzz-Buzz ice cream? Would they remember how I tried to organize their lunches, or drank a Diet Coke every day? Would they tell their friends the obnoxious songs I sang in the car, my OCD hand-washing tendencies, my groggy exercise routine? The highs, lows, and mundanes.

How will they remember me?

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  1. Wow. Amazing, amazing post. And something I will really be thinking about.

  2. The highs, the lows and the mundanes are life.

    I lost my dad ten years ago, when I only had one child and she was too young to remember him. That is my biggest regret — the time lost even doing the mundane things.

    This was a fantastic post!

  3. So sorry to hear you’ve gone through a period of loss.

    This is something HB and I talk about fairly often – our eldest child is 14 and if we died how much would she really remember about us? (My grandma died when I was 16, and I feel like I never really got to know her. Not as an adult.) I so don’t want them to remember that mum always yelled, or always said ‘no’ when they asked for something, or was always too tired to play… I try to think about that frequently and it prompts me to try and create special traditions and memories with them.

  4. oh, this makes me sad . . . my own father passed away when I was 18 and while I remember most things about him . . . I was a child and I never got to know him as an adult . . . I think I would have really liked him!

  5. what is the story behind the picture?

    the rest of your post was very introspective . . . gives one pause to think.

    Here’s my photo story. happy Friday!

  6. After we lost Rosie last year, I thought the same thing. I’m glad we’ll hear more about your day-to-day life. (((hugs)))

  7. I have often thought about these same things and have hoped that they would remember the good in me and how I am willing to play with them,go for a hike or give them cake for dinner or breakfast.

  8. Something to most definitely ponder. We’ve been surrounded by so much of that kind of loss, it seems, here in our school/community. Hard to understand, but we can always trust that He has it all in His hands and is there carrying us through it all….

    Love that Nicole N. song…..I wanna leave a legacy….I pray my kids, and yours, rise up and call us blessed!

    Have a great Saturday….

    Guess who I’m going to see tonight? 😉


  9. This is certainly some good food for thought. Great post.

  10. This is exactly why I have a blog. I actually have two. I have a private blog, and I try to share things about myself as well as the little activities that happen in our everyday life.

  11. I’ve kept a journal since I was 13 years old (I’m 42 now). Because of blogging my daily journal writing has declined to a few times a month, but I put in my will that I want my daughter to have all my journals. I’m thankful that she’s reached the age where she will remember me if anything happens.

    When she’s older I may let her read some of my teen and early twenty journals to help her as she grows. Maybe she’ll avoid some of my mistakes.

  12. I think we leave a legacy without even trying. Hopefully, it’s a positive one. 🙂

  13. I know exactly what you mean. That’s why I post my Flashback stories–I tell them to you all, but they are really for my children’s children and their children.

    I look forward to hearing more–a therapist as wonderful as you has got to be an amazing mother.

  14. First….I love that shot! Your photo’s will leave a legacy of your life with your kids.

  15. I think it’s easy to get caught up in blogging and forget why you started. I really try to keep at least one story a week about our life, how it is now. It’s great to have that to look back on…

  16. I just finished reading “Mama makes up her mind” by Bailey White. It is a delightful book of memoirs. It will make you want to write down all the silly/funny/sweet stories from your daily life, and your girls’.

  17. What a thoughtful post… definitely something to ponder.

  18. I often wonder the same things. I began writing letters to the girls every month, or blogging them actually. And then life got busier with two kids and I have somehow let those letters go. I’m going to start writing them again.

    It’s scary to think about those things, but we are parents now and usually that’s the kinds of things I ponder.

    I can’t wait to hear more about you through this journey of yours.

  19. This is beautifully said. I’m so glad to hear you’re taking this leap. This is why I began blogging years ago. Mainly for my daughter. I remember looking back on photos of my mother holding me as a child, and wondering what she was like then. What were her thoughts? Her likes? Concerns? I think blogging or keeping a journal is a wonderful way to bridge that gap for loved ones.

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