I have absconded with my mother’s super-computer in order to publicize a few complaints. Apparently, my mom’s desire for super powers has no family barriers. She wishes them on me too. She almost expects them.
Here are my recent examples. For my 5th birthday last month I was given a fabulous new bike. Fabulous, that is, until she said the training wheels were coming off of the pre-assembled model.
No training wheels?
What does she think I have?
I convinced her to wait two days before removing the life-saving mechanisms. I took a deep breath. And then I rode my new flashy bike just like my balance bike.
Phew! I lived.
This week my mother became convinced that I needed to really learn how to swim. And even ( gulp ) put my face in the water. I have no fins. I sport no tail. Just because she learned to swim as a baby and was on a swim team for years, doesn’t meant that it is natural to be in the water. I’m in swim lessons right now, for crying out loud! So what if I’m the only one in the class not getting wet!?
Ahem. Excuse me?
She claimed that if I cooperated with her, it would save the family hundreds of dollars on specialty swim lessons. Or maybe it was therapy. Whatever. I liked the idea of saving the family money (more toys for me!).
Two hours later I found myself in the pool with her before my swim lesson. And my own mother “helped” me go underwater.
All my hair got wet!
You know what? It was actually relatively fun. I went to my swim lesson and proceeded to get my hair wet multiple times. I even decided that goggles were a necessity. I think I’m quite the fish now.
Love, The Flash