What doesn’t work for me

Here are a few things that DON’T work for this Super-Hero-Wanna-Be:

The telephone : I hate the phone. I hate making phone calls. I hate answering the phone. I hate feeling like I’m disturbing people when I call. I hate calling people back. I hate, hate, hate it when parents I am trying to get hold of in order to hold their child’s special ed meeting refuse to call me back and I feel like my job is in limbo while waiting for their flippin’ phone call!!!! Seems odd that a Speech Pathologist and former debater would hate the phone. But I do. Luckily, there’s email!

Nylons : Hate them. Feeling like they are always extending my crotch area down to my knees.

Heels : Won’t wear them. Okay, I did once (for my wedding). Big fun.

Vacuuming: Been there. Done that. No more. He vacuums. I mop. It works.

Caffeine deprivation : I’ve tried to go chemical free, and then thought, “WHY?!”

Hmmmm. I’m sure there are more. I’ll think about it in the morning!

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22 Comments

  1. The nylons comment is too funny.

    I don’t like the phone either – I spend 80% of my time at work on the phone. The last thing I want to do is call someone when I get home.

  2. I wore tennis shoes at my wedding :0) They were kind of like platform tennis shoes (About 2″ high) and I decorated them with sequins and lace – They were awesome! and my feet loved me. You have a good list of doesn’ts and I agree with all of them LOL

    Have a great day,
    Kristin

  3. I wore tennis shoes at my wedding.

    I hate nylons because they are too short for my legs – so now I wear thigh highs when absolutely necessary (ie when it’s freezing outside and I must wear a skirt).

    I abhor the phone and hardly ever call my friends. Most of the people I know think I hate them because I rarely call.

    I am a caffeine addict. In the winter, it’s coffee… in the summer, it’s Diet Coke.

    We own a Roomba. (Check it out, although you may think ‘why bother?’ since your husband is your Roomba.)

  4. I hate the phone, too! I’m glad I’m not alone. I think I’ve actually lost friends because I wouldn’t call to “just talk.” Hey, that’s what email is for!

  5. I’m a phone-hater, too.

    Ugh.

    Email definitely works much better for me!

  6. I feel the same way about the phone. I don’t mind if I am talking to my mom but other then that I hate it. I have an assignment to do and it required me calling people and I am putting it off.

  7. I’m not into nylons either (but we are in Texas so…) I need my heels (I’m only 5″2),
    Living without coffee is a life not worth living lol 😉

  8. ooh, I so agree with you.

    hate nylons, hate the phone, hate vacuuming (I second the roomba!), hate heels.

    Totally am addicted to caffeine.

    It’s like we’re soul-mates. Well, if we weren’t already married and into that sort of thing.

  9. I feel the same ay about the telephone. Email is much more efficient.

    (Just looked above at the comments … why don’t we just outlaw the phone?)

  10. I’m with ya on the phone, nylons (NEVER wear ’em), heels (haven’t worn ’em much since my wedding either ~ got absolutely no use for ’em), and the caffeine. Speaking of which…… I need a refill.

  11. I’m right there on the nylons. And the phone (mostly) and yes, giving up caffeine would be akin to giving up air for me, too. Cute post.

  12. Awesome list. Have to agree with every single one. I did successfully go off caffeine (again), but then I had surgery and the percocet was so depressing. Figure caffeine (in form of Mountain Dew) is much better than suicide!

    Also, on the phone, I hate call waiting! If I wanted to talk to someone else right then, I wouldn’t be talking to the person I was already talking with. Down with phones!!

  13. I hate going potty (I will call it potty for the next 5 years, I’m sure) with nylons on. The whole pulling them back up thing is so tedious.

  14. I think I only own 2 pairs of heels. White ones from my wedding and black ones. I don’t even know if the white ones still fit and the black ones, I only wear to weddings. Ever since I’ve had kids, my already-wide, expanded feet don’t fit in them! Open heel shoes that I can easily slip out of while bringing a sleeping child in the house are the way to go!
    Nylons? only wear them to weddings with the previously mentioned black heels!

  15. I’m so with you, man. I loathe the phone and have been thrilled by the invention of text messaging because it enables me to send in essence a short email instead of having to actually talk to somebody.

    I hate that crotch feeling – when I was a kid I used to wear an extra pair of underwear over my stocking to keep them up. Now doing so would result in obscene panty line from hell.

    I hate the vacuum – the stupid brushes always get clogged. Can’t somebody make one without brushes?

    Caffeine deprivation? Man, going off caffeine was SO awful when I was pregnant that I haven’t gone back just because I don’t want to go off caffeine again. I love caffeine and once I’m finished having the kids? I can’t wait to scarf one down.

  16. I agree with all of your statements. I never wear nylons- ever! I hate the phone. I suffer from phone anxiety. Thanks for sharing- that was a neat idea!

  17. We have the SAME list. We’re practically BFFs.

  18. Yep, your list of hates is pretty similar to mine — ESPECIALLY the phone!

  19. I agree with every single one of those! But the phone comment is so me. I cannot stand the phone.

  20. YES.. I agree with you – none of those work for me either.

    I gave up caffeine both times I was pregnant. I’ve been happily back on the coffee for about 2 years now and I don’t want to go off again.

    And high heels. I like them to look at, but not to wear. They hurt. Ouch.

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