Finding peace (when balance can’t be found)
Let me start by saying that I have NOT found peace (which was supposed to be my word of the year). I did order some nice looking id labels with the Chinese word for “peace” on them. That’s kind of the same, right?
In case you don’t know much about me and my family here is a synopsis. I am a Type A, slightly manic (although I prefer the term “persevering”), over-achiever. I went to an Ivy League University because it was the “best” and not necessarily because it was the best for me. My family life is stressful. My husband suffers debilitating chronic pain and cannot even sit for more than a few hours (he spends his day lying down). He suffers extreme depression and has changed as a person very much through all of this. In spite of this, he has been denied Social Security Disability over and over and was recently told that he can no longer appeal the federal court’s decision (we are now suing for wrongful denial). Although my husband can help get my two kids to/from school each day, I am full time mommy after school hours, on the weekends, and on all days off. Because my husband is unable to earn an income, yet has very high medical bills, I work two jobs. I am solely responsible for the house, yard, cooking, cleaning, and all other normal activities. We have no family for 500 miles and our friends are all dealing with their own stuff, so we are pretty much on our own.
Deep breath. It’s a lot.
Here are some of the ways that I am attempting to find peace in the midst of my un-balanced life.
1. Coffee. And not just any coffee. Good coffee. At home I use an Aeorpress and milk frother. And I try to treat myself by going to locally-owned coffee shop once a week for a “Lavender Latte.”
2. Walks. Long walks. I am blessed beyond measure to live about a quarter mile from a city park that includes many wooded trails. Every Sunday morning before church, if the weather is decent, I take a 5 mile solo walk.
3. Exercise. At least 4 days per week I exercise at home or the gym. Honestly, I don’t love it while I’m there. But I am addicted to the feeling afterwards!
4. Water. So much water that I may be turning into a fish. I drink about a gallon per day and I am convinced (in spite of it NOT helping me lose weight) that it is flushing out my system and helping me be healthier.
Pictured in title:
5. Planning. My personality thrives on having lists that I can accomplish and numbers that I can look back on. On a daily basis I write down my weight, night sweats (they are awful!), verse of the day, weather, and number of steps from the previous day. I also list things to do for my blog and for my family. I love getting things checked off and feeling accomplished!
Sometimes, life isn’t balanced. These are my attempts at minding peace in the midst of it all.
I had hormonal headaches for years. Some lasted up to 3 days. I had to lay down in darkness, ice my head and take meds that made me a zombie. My children were little and thank God I had a wonderful husband. I have a friend who is using Botox and acupuncture.They are coming out with new treatments everyday. I have also heard where you can get caught up in a rebound headache situation. I am wondering if that is what is happening. Maybe a second opinion and treatment at a place where they can try some new things would help. For you I would suggest Yoga and some of the Calm Apps to help you cope. I am praying that he finds relief from the debilitating pain.
Thanks for the post… you continue to be an inspiration. I second you on the exercise note! I don’t like it, but boy does it help me find some momentary peace of mind.
I can’t imagine what you are going through. I thought I had a stressful life, but not in comparison to you. I have the stresses of all the deadlines with work and some health issues, but I am managing. I know that I am glad that I have the peace of God and the joy of the Lord for times like I am going through because I probably wouldn’t be able to handle it. Has your husband been able to get epidural shots in his back? My husband did that and also PT and got relieve for his hip and back.
You are definitely a strong lady! You are in my prayers today.
I truly admire your strength and “perseverance.” You have really developed wonderful strategies for dealing with difficult situations. As someone on the other end of the night sweats…they too, shall pass!
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