Finding peace (when balance can’t be found)

Let me start by saying that I have NOT found peace (which was supposed to be my word of the year). I did order some nice looking id labels with the Chinese word for “peace” on them. That’s kind of the same, right?

In case you don’t know much about me and my family here is a synopsis. I am a Type A, slightly manic (although I prefer the term “persevering”), over-achiever. I went to an Ivy League University because it was the “best” and not necessarily because it was the best for me. My family life is stressful. My husband suffers debilitating chronic pain and cannot even sit for more than a few hours (he spends his day lying down). He suffers extreme depression and has changed as a person very much through all of this. In spite of this, he has been denied Social Security Disability over and over and was recently told that he can no longer appeal the federal court’s decision (we are now suing for wrongful denial). Although my husband can help get my two kids to/from school each day, I am full time mommy after school hours, on the weekends, and on all days off. Because my husband is unable to earn an income, yet has very high medical bills, I work two jobs. I am solely responsible for the house, yard, cooking, cleaning, and all other normal activities. We have no family for 500 miles and our friends are all dealing with their own stuff, so we are pretty much on our own.

Deep breath. It’s a lot.

Here are some of the ways that I am attempting to find peace in the midst of my un-balanced life.

1. Coffee. And not just any coffee. Good coffee. At home I use an Aeorpress and milk frother. And I try to treat myself by going to locally-owned coffee shop once a week for a “Lavender Latte.”

2. Walks. Long walks. I am blessed beyond measure to live about a quarter mile from a city park that includes many wooded trails. Every Sunday morning before church, if the weather is decent, I take a 5 mile solo walk.

3. Exercise. At least 4 days per week I exercise at home or the gym. Honestly, I don’t love it while I’m there. But I am addicted to the feeling afterwards!

4. Water. So much water that I may be turning into a fish. I drink about a gallon per day and I am convinced (in spite of it NOT helping me lose weight) that it is flushing out my system and helping me be healthier.

Pictured in title:

5. Planning. My personality thrives on having lists that I can accomplish and numbers that I can look back on. On a daily basis I write down my weight, night sweats (they are awful!), verse of the day, weather, and number of steps from the previous day. I also list things to do for my blog and for my family. I love getting things checked off and feeling accomplished!

Sometimes, life isn’t balanced. These are my attempts at minding peace in the midst of it all.