Dear Prospective Adoptive Parent

Dear Prospective Adoptive Parent,

I know that you have so many questions right now. Is adoption the best choice for you? Should you pursue fertility treatment (if applicable)? What will your family think? Will you love a child born to a stranger as much as a “biological” child?

It was almost a decade ago exactly that I received the phone call that you are (possibly) dreaming about. We’d been matched. With a son!

I was walking through the parking lot on my way to a school in-service when my cell phone rang. It was our social worker calling to announce the amazing news. Incredible not only because my dream was coming true, but also because it was months earlier than expected.

I can’t answer all of your questions. Adoption is a life-changing event and life-long commitment…but so is all parenthood. I can tell you, however, that (even though I didn’t realize it at the time) from that phone call forward, I would die for that boy. And later my daughter. I would give anything for a child I had never seen and to whom I had no genetic connection.

I have no regrets that we did not pursue fertility treatment. After all the health issues that my husband has had, it is probably a gift that we don’t need to worry about those conditions being passed onto another generation.

I would challenge you to do your research well and weigh the pros and cons of adoption carefully. Consider whether you can care for a child with medical/emotional/learning needs, attachment issues, and other challenges. But do not worry about whether you can “love” this child. It will come. It may take days, months or years, but it will come.